Choose Your Battles – Save Your Life

Hello retirees and other cherished readers,

 

Do you ever get so angry that your face gets hot and your heart starts racing?  Do you sometimes react to that anger by lashing out at those you love, and saying words that wound and hurt?  Of course later, when you’ve cooled off and calmed down, you wish it was possible to take back those hurtful words.  In this post we are going to delve into several aspects of this rage; and see if we can find a way to “choose your battles” and maybe save your life in the process.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feeling angry is a natural human emotion and not necessarily good or bad.  Our actions and reactions to anger is what makes it positive or negative.  Uncontrolled anger or rage, usually ends up being negative and causing many problems.  Not only will it cause relationship problems, (and it most certainly will); it can also adveresly effect the health of the person unleashing the rage; and the person (usually someone close to them) who is routinely the brunt of their anger.

 

How does anger effect our health?

 

  • Heart – The likelihood of suffering a heart attack doubles in the two hours after an angry outburst.  Feeling angry and not expressing it in healthy ways, or repressing it, can also be detrimental to heart health.  When anger expressed and dealt with in constructive ways; it is diffused and is not detrimental to heart health.

 

 

  • Stroke – After an angry outburst, the person is more likely suffer a stroke (a blood clot that goes to the brain).  There are ways to cope with anger besides exploding.  We will discuss that later on.

 

  • Depression – People who are prone to angry outbursts are more prone to be depressed.  They see the world though a screen of anger and negativity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Immune system – People who are angry a lot of the time and have trouble managing or expressing their anger, without an angry outburst, tend to be sick more often.  Their immune system is affected by their anger.

 

  • Headaches – Did you ever get angry and upset and later you came down with a bad headache?  Anger provokes a flight or fight response.  The adrenal glands flood the body with stress hormones. Your muscles tense, your heart races, your mind is sharpened and focused.  A headache is just one of the after-affects.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • High blood pressure –  Anger causes an increase in blood pressure.  If you are frequently angry, you may suffer with chronic high blood pressure.

 

  • Increased anxiety – Anger and anxiety go together like the proverbial horse and carriage.  Uncontrolled anger can increase anxiety and worry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Skin conditions –  Anger and anxiety can sometimes contribute to skin conditions like exema, rashes and hives.

 

There are many things you can do to suffer from less anger; and ways to release your anger in productive and even helpful ways.  I am going to discuss how you can choose your battles; to not let your anger rule your life and ruin your health.

 

Choose your battles

 

When you feel yourself giving way to anger; there are some things you can do.  You are really not as helpless and controlled by your anger as you think you are.  If you learn some constructive ways of dealing with anger; you are more free to “pick your battles”.  You will be better equipped to decide how to handle your anger in constructive ways; and begin to know what is important enough to warrant expressing your anger toward a solution to the problem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Think before acting –  You have heard the saying “Count to 10 when you are angry”.  There is a little truth in that.  While you are counting you may cool down enough to begin thinking.  Ask yourself if the situation you are angry about is really as important as it seems to be at this moment.  Think about the other person involved.  Try to put yourself in their shoes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Walk away –  If you are very angry at someone, perhaps this isn’t the ideal time to confront them about it.  Give yourself some time to digest the anger; and find a way to release it in a positive manner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Pray – I have often found that prayer can be a solution to my anger.  As I pray about the situation; I feel my anger start to subside.  As my spirit begins to calm in His presence; I am more prone to be able to forgive. Also, talking things over with God can give me a different perspective.  Many times I am able to just lay the anger, problem and circumstance at His feet, and walk away lighter without it.  Other times, I find myself finding a way to confront, in love, and work toward a solution to the situation.

 

 

  • Keep busy –  If you are a person who is prone to anger; you may find that keeping busy is a way to keep your mind occupied positively.  There will be less time to feel angry.  I keep busy with my family, church activities, my music and songwriting, and by learning more about internet affiliate marketing at Wealthy Affiliate.

 

 

 

  • Grow a thicker skin – Most anger comes from a feeling of being slighted, ignored, devalued or unappreciated.  Learn to talk yourself through these feelings and to a place where you don’t get upset so easily.  Attempting to understand the other person’s point of view or reasoning may help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Forgive – One of the things anger feeds on is unforgiveness.  If we become more forgiving and less judgemental; we will find that much of our anger will dissipate.  Forgiveness diffuses anger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anger feeds on unforgiveness.

 

  • Judge less – Judgemental people are usually angry people.  Generally speaking, people will live their lives the way they want to.  If you judge them harshly, or continually confront them; they will eventually move away from you and migrate to people who don’t judge them so harshly.  How have you won in this situation?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Think positive– If we learn think positive more of the time, there won’t be as much time for negative anger.  Negative thinking is another thing that anger feeds on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If we take away the things that anger feeds on, it will begin to lose it’s power over us.  Think positive and count your blessings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Smile and laugh –  Laughter can diffuse anger.  Have you ever been in a heated argument with someone; and something strikes you as funny.  When you start laughing, you find your anger dissipating.  People who smile and laugh more, are less prone to be angry and anxious.

 

 

  • Be more kind, and less “right” –  Is being right more important to you than your relationships with other people?  You will find yourself being angry, because after all, you are “right”.  Has your life become a yardstick to judge right and wrong, and good and bad?  Why is it so important that everyone knows you are right?  That leaves only one place for the other person to be; and that is WRONG.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Become less entitled – If you are constantly judging people by whether or not they are fulfilling your needs; you will be angry a lot.  See what you can do to help others, and think less about whether your needs are being met.

 

When you have thought through your anger, prayed about it, and diagnosed the problem; you will find that you may be able to forgive and forget without malice.  Many problems don’t seem as big if we give them a few days.  If you still feel that this is a problem you must confront; then you will be able to confront the person who is the object of your anger in a more constructive or caring way.

 

 

If you would like to read more about controlling your emotions, please click on the link below.

 

Managing Your Emotions

 

Thank you for stopping by.  I hope this post has been helpful to someone who is dealing with an anger problem.  Stop by again soon.  I will be writing new material weekly.

 

Please use the comment section below to express your ideas or feelings about the subject of this post.  If you have any questions, I will answer to the best of my ability.

 

At your service,

Jeannie

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4 thoughts on “Choose Your Battles – Save Your Life

  1. Hi Jeannie,

    I have to admit that I am a short-tempered person. My family knows me very well. Over the years, I’ve tried and still trying very hard to control it. Sometimes, it worked, sometimes not so successful. The two ways that worked for me, is to take deep breathe and count. Or choose to walk away.

    Temper outburst is really bad for the family relationship. I know this very well. I just have to keep trying my best!

    Have a great day ahead!
    Sharon

    • Hi Sharon. 

       Change isn’t easy.  Somewhere in your past you learned this behavior.  What is learned can be unlearned; but unlearning is more difficult.  I am proud of you for trying. Keep working on it. 

      Yes it is hard on relationships, and also takes a tole on your body and health. Even when the time is right to confront; it is better to confront after the worst of the anger has abated. 

      I hope that you have found something within this post that will help you to continue to affect this change in your life. You deserve better than to be controlled by anger, or any other emotion.  

      I understand how hard it is to change; but don’t give up. You can do this for yourself. 

      Thanks for stopping by to read and comment. Come again soon. I love company. 

      Jeannie

  2. Thanks so much friend for sharing this helpful information with me.
    Actually I’m someone who used to get angry easily, but now its better by the help of prayer and studying God’s word the Bible.

    I have learned a lot of practical ways of controlling my anger today from this post of your, so helpful. For example, I have learned to walk away when some tries to offend me, and learn to forgive. I have also learn the many health dangers associated with getting angry, such as high blood pressure, and even increase in anxiety.

    I will do my best to apply your practical counsel and I know I will benefit a lot from it. Thanks so much.

    • Hi Stephen.

      Thanks for reading, and for such a nice comment.  I’m always pleased if someone is able to find help in one of my posts.

      I’m glad to hear you say that your anger is getting better with the help of prayer and the study of God’s word.  I can give you practical advice; but God can help you change.  I think one of the most important things to controlling temper and a host of other things in our life is being willing to forgive.  Then to think positive, be thankful, and laugh.

      Thanks for stopping by.  Come again soon.  I love company; and my door is always open.

      Jeannie

      Jeannie

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